Posts by Kate

GLBTQ

Are you looking for knowledgeable, objective help with sexual issues or your relationship? I serve people of all identities and orientations. I don’t judge you or claim to know what’s best for you. I’m curious about and experienced with sexually diverse clients of all kinds. I’ve attempted to write the material in this site in a way that welcomes all kinds of people; of course our language assumes a binary gender model which is quite limiting in many ways. I aspire to thoughtfulness and clarity about the concepts I’m presenting, yet strive to avoid contorted phrasing. The research I am familiar with on long-term relationships actually indicates that gay and lesbian...

Poly/Open Relationships

People who choose open relationship come from all walks of life but are often bright and attracted to complexity. They tend to be extroverts; those who are of a quieter temperament can enjoy this kind of relationship if they find ways to refuel themselves and have enough reflective time. These relationships seem to work best for people who are deeply inquisitive and who have considerable energy for processing emotions. This requires a high level of verbal ability and the capacity to express and understand their own complicated feelings and those of others. Certainly a lot of conventional relationships are not working well in today’s society, and people who are...

Difficulty with Erections

Men often conceptualize problems with the penis as essentially hydraulic in nature; yet a complex network of emotional, neurological, muscular and endocrine functions are associated with satisfying erections and ejaculation. The practices of mental focus and physical attunement to your partner are surprisingly powerful skills that will serve you for a lifetime over the course of your sexual development. Problems with erection were once referred to as “impotence,” Latin for without power. Certainly a man is still fully capable of pleasing a partner sexually even without an erection, yet it is understandable that men want to achieve and enjoy erections at will....

Kink/BDSM

If you’re kinky or interested in kink practices, it can be tough to find a therapist who gets it. My acquaintance with the kinky world goes back many years and I’ve talked with numerous clients about living in a D/S relationship, cross-dressing, role-playing, BDSM practices and various fetishes. Clients who contact me are often looking for help with problems related to sex, but some kink-oriented people just want to talk about work stress, feelings of depression, or other routine problems in a place where they don’t have to hide or cover up aspects of themselves. People seek me out as a resource for: dealing with conflicted feelings about their kinks,...

Cultural Awareness and Understanding