Posts by Kate
Truth-Telling and Young Adults (Not Them-You!)
Let’s imagine a world in which we truly educate young people about their sexuality. What information and support do they need in order to understand healthy habits and self-care in their sex lives? Today December 1st is World AIDS Day. Since the start of this international epidemic about 30 years ago, 25 million people have died. Internationally, 1 in 4 new HIV infections occurs in young people aged 13-24. A startling 60% of them don’t realize they have it, and could unknowingly pass it on to others. Although survival rates are improving, discrimination against people with HIV/AIDS remains a huge problem, and causes people to hesitate to seek help even when they suspect...
Read MoreWhy Feeling Hot is Not Required for Great Sex
Recent research from the University of Lisbon looked at “Predictors of Body Appearance Cognitive Distraction during Sexual Activity in Men and Women.” Over 660 people responded to questions about satisfaction with their bodies during sex and comfort with the way they thought their sexual partners regard their bodies. The researchers found that being dissatisfied with your overall appearance or with particular body parts predicted “body appearance cognitive distraction” during sexual contact. Women often imagine a partner judges their body (“He must think my thighs are flabby” or “My breasts are too small.”) This affects sexual self-esteem and...
Read MoreLove, as the Leaves Fall
Poets may say spring is the time of attraction and new love, but scientists who study humans’ biological rhythms claim autumn is the “hottest” season, at least for those of us in the western hemisphere. As the clocks turn this weekend and days feel shorter for a while, many hormonal and body temperature changes influence our wish to cozy up with someone else and not have to face the darkness alone. Sensations of familiarity and optimism are precious at this time of year; closeness and touch provide powerful ways to reassure ourselves, and feel safe and warm. Particularly in the rainy Northwest, daylight savings time can leave us feeling so deprived of...
Read MoreInnovations in Intimacy: The One-Handed Condom
Here’s a cool innovation: this condom was designed to be opened with one hand. Why didn’t anybody think of this sooner?! The interruption of opening a wrapper can be a nuisance and disturb an intimate moment, which is one reason people don’t always like using them. These condoms are actually not available for sale yet; the product was created for a design competition focused on everyday objects and the many ways life can be made simpler for disabled people. And since we’re all only “temporarily able-bodied” anyway, it seems like both a great device and a wonderful way to remind us to think...
Read MoreLack of Desire/Libido
Although many, many couples experience lack of desire or are mismatched in their desire for sex, knowing that this is an extremely common problem doesn’t make it any less frustrating! I listen carefully and actively work with you on your particular situation. I help you generate real-world options to try, so that you’re making sense of what to do to move forward. Each couples’ needs are unique. Together we figure out how you can use new behaviors or thinking habits, so your relationship generates energy and positive feelings for both of you. The patterns of initiating intimate contact that you’ve established together may not serve you as well as you’d like,...
Read MoreKate McNulty, LCSW
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