Difficulty with Orgasm

When sexual enjoyment is not so simple, relationships can become discouraging, embarrassing or frustrating. Dealing with limitations in the way we feel, or the way our bodies respond, involves obtaining information on anatomy and physiology, body awareness or “tuning in.” I teach you awareness exercises and practices as we work together in the office, and instruct you in activities you can do at home to keep your body and mind engaged in making the changes you want.

We always go at your pace and, rest assured, everything that happens in the office just involves us talking.
Although some people experience intense emotions when talking about such a private subject, I would never ask you to do anything embarrassing in our sessions. It is important that you know you are in charge of your therapy, and I act as a guide and a resource.

Even if you have never talked about your sexual history or sexual feelings with anyone else, part of my job is to ask questions that are useful and interesting, so the conversation feels natural.

For men, problems with orgasm may involve coming sooner or taking longer than you want to, or not being able to orgasm at all.

Women may not be able to orgasm at all, infrequently, or only experience orgasm under certain conditions.

Much of the work we do together involves getting obstacles out of the way. Worries about performance or treating sex as a goal-oriented activity are common causes of these kinds of difficulties. In some instances traumas or emotional experiences interfere with the body’s natural ability to let go; some people have entrained themselves to a specific masturbation pattern that is not conducive to partner sex. Although there are a variety of reasons people encounter difficulties with the frequency or quality of orgasm they want to experience, there are also a series of steps to try in order to move beyond this problem. The good news is, once you achieve some improvement it is usually self-reinforcing, meaning you can anticipate increased success and satisfaction with each attempt.
Together we will determine whether you’re likely to get the best results by coming to sessions on your own, or whether meeting as a couple will be most effective.
You’re welcome to contact me if you’d like to hear more about my approach to these kinds of concerns. You can also get better acquainted with my ideas by reading my short article, Five Ways to Ruin Perfectly Good Sex. You may also enjoy another article, Appreciating Your Body in Everyday Life.